


Hear it in the Silence

by banshee_experience, soulstydia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Deaton ships Stydia, Drama, F/M, Helpful Deaton, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Stiles Stilinski/Malia Tate, Platonic Soulmates, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Scott McCall is a Good Friend, Scott is a Good Friend, Soulmates, Stydia, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:43:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4647546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banshee_experience/pseuds/banshee_experience, https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulstydia/pseuds/soulstydia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In your case, you're two halves of one soul. It's rare and it's extremely special. You are supernaturally drawn to each other and it's not something that can be controlled. It's for life. It's for everything beyond and after life."</p><p>Both of them gaped. They didn't realize that it was so serious; they thought it was just another supernatural abnormality that they constantly experienced. But it was so much more than that. It was different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. you can feel it on the way home.

**Author's Note:**

> Me (Brittany) and Abbie have been working on this forever! I'm so proud to finally reveal it. I think we did a pretty good job. 
> 
> There will be 5 chapters and an epilogue. 
> 
> I can't tell you what Lydia and Stiles are just yet, but I'll say that they are something supernatural!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. If you can, please give kudos and write a review. We really appreciate it.
> 
> We have tumblrs if you have any questions! Abbie is stydiasgriffin. Brittany is martinxki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abbie and I (Brittany) have been working on this forever! I'm so proud to finally reveal it. I think we did a pretty good job.
> 
> There will be 5 chapters and an epilogue.
> 
> I can't tell you what Lydia and Stiles are just yet, but I'll say that they are something supernatural!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. If you can, please give kudos and write a review. We really appreciate it.
> 
> We have tumblrs if you have any questions! Abbie is stydiasgriffin. Brittany is martinxki.

Lydia’s anger never spiked at moments like this, but it was too difficult to withhold her frustration when cars were crowded all across the bridge at the most inconvenient time: before school. 

She had a major biology test and her teacher would not excuse her absence this time, whether if it was because she was in the hospital or stuck in traffic. Ugh, she thought. Sometimes I just want to punch her.

Frustrated, she slammed her hand against the wheel, blaring the horn.

\--

Stiles stood outside the high school, briefly conversing with the pack before they all parted ways. He itched with sudden irritation or perhaps anger.

Scott was going over safety precautions for the five-thousandth time to Stiles, Kira, Malia, and Liam. He would think that Lydia should’ve been there, too, if he hadn't gotten a message from her saying that she was stuck in traffic and she'd be late.

“We need to make sure that if we see anyone suspicious, contact someone immediately,” Scott assured them.

“Scott, you don’t have to keep repeating it, okay? I think we all understand,” Stiles spat, struggling not to punch anyone.

"Stiles," Scott started, now mirroring his angry tone.

“Stiles, he’s just trying to get it in our heads,” Kira said, defending Scott before he got just as angry as Stiles. "He wants to do what's best for the pack."

Without responding, Stiles stormed away. His heart thudded against his chest. He heard Malia call after him a few times, only making him angrier. Storming to his locker, he gathered his materials. He heard Malia come up behind him. Fuck.

"Stiles," she offered.

"What?" Stiles responded angrily, turning around swiftly.

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" she asked. "You never snap at Scott like you did back there. And you reek of anger. Are you alright?" She put her hand on his shoulder.

He shook her hand off of his shoulder. He did not want to be touched right now. "I'm fine. God, stop worrying about me all the time. It's none of your business." He slammed his locker door and left Malia, who was now just as pissed as Stiles was. He trudged off to his first period class.

\--

After the traffic slowly cleared, Lydia sped up towards the school. She was more nervous than angry. She was nervous about being late, the test, the chimeras in general, and she was just nervous. It was a perpetual feeling at this point. 

She pulled into the school parking lot with a heavy sigh, and her hands shook. Before she exited the car and walked towards school, she let one tear fall. One tear, one moment of weakness. And that was all. 

\--

As Stiles’s anger subsided, he felt an abrupt anxious flutter in his stomach. This feeling made him even more nervous, and he almost missed the teacher call his name in class. 

“Stiles," he inquired. “What’s the answer?” He was impatient this time. 

"Uh--I, um,” he said, scratching his neck apprehensively. There were a few snickers throughout the classroom. 

Then, oddly, he felt like crying. There was never a moment in class where he’d been too embarrassed that he’d cried. At moments like this, he'd usually make a quick-witted, sarcastic remark. But this time, something emotional swept through him and he just wanted to cry. 

 

The teacher’s face faded from miffed to sympathetic. Stiles murmured if he could leave the room, and without waiting for answer, he walked out. And as soon as he did, the silent tears fell. He leaned against a couple of lockers in the hallway next to his classroom.

He figured that these emotions intensified because of the events that had been happening in his life. Everything must’ve been building up into a multitude of emotions that interrupted him daily, without any warning signs. Instead of pondering it too long, he decided to slip back into the classroom as if he’d never left. 

That is, until he ran into Lydia.

"Stiles?" he heard her call down the hallway as he tried to turn away. He didn't want her to see that he'd just been crying. "Stiles," she repeated, "don't pretend like you can't hear me."

Shit, he thought as he turned around. The attempted escape failed. He saw Lydia walk toward him from down the hallway.

"Hey," he said when she was close enough, "did you just get here?"

"Yeah. The traffic sucks and of course, it sucks the most when I was already running late." She looked into his eyes and noticed that they were tinted red. "Have you been crying?"

"Uh," Stiles started. He decided to deny it. "No."

"Are you sure? Your eyes are puffy. Are you okay?" she asked, worried.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just stressed out. I'll be fine, though," he said. She gave him a slight nod, even though she was still mildly suspicious. "Do you want me to walk you to class?"

She contemplated it and eventually decided against it. He's probably been out here for at least ten minutes. "No, you should get back to class." She started walking the other direction. His eyes followed her. "I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Okay," he said, then opened the door back to his class.

\--

As Lydia sat in the biology room, she smirked a little when she finished the test. Turns out, her biology teacher was out sick and the substitute came in after Lydia did. She knew basically the entire thing, and it would feel nice when her teacher would look at her in admiration. She tapped her pencil as she waited. She thought about how much happened in the past week. She hardly had any time to apply to colleges, let alone try to solve the mysteries of the supernatural world. 

Now that she thought about it, it would be difficult to leave this once established life. She wasn’t sure what she would do after college or which college she would attend. There was Stanford, where she’d have no trouble being accepted to. But what about her friends? Did they want to stay in California? Or did they want to leave this haunted place and find one to make new memories? She knew that she would go wherever the pack went without question. They were her priority.

All of a sudden, Lydia was feeling nostalgic. She thought about first meeting Allison; therefore, getting herself involved with this supernatural drama. She thought about first discovering that she was a banshee. Not such a happy story since she was getting strangled when she found out, but being a banshee has made a huge impact on her life. She's become friends with people that she never would have been friends with if she weren't a banshee. Good people. Her pack was her rock. Although she didn't outwardly display it all of the time, she really did love them all. She would hate to not be able to see them everyday if they completely separated during college.

She settled her thoughts with ones of the present, leading back to her contentment.

\--

Stiles’s former sadness was replaced with happiness, and as the teacher lectured about the history of Europe, Stiles jotted down the notes with motivation and determination.

It’s weird, he thought. I was just about to cry and now I’m happy? In school of all places? He shook off the doubt before the bell rang, startling him. He rushed out into the already buzzing hallways of Beacon Hills High. His head ached, but he felt inspired for whatever reason. 

He thought fondly of the pack, suddenly. Although they were all in a bad spot right now with the chimeras, he thought of them as his best and closest friends. It made him feel good to have them around. He then feels bad about what had happened this morning.

Stiles had decided that he owed Scott and Malia an apology for blowing up on them this morning. He texted Scott and told him to meet him before lunch. He would apologize to Malia later, as she probably needed more convincing than Scott. Forgiveness was a new skill to her.

He saw Scott turn the corner and walk toward him. 

"Hey," Stiles said as Scott stood in front of him, "about this morning. I don't know why, but I really haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been having these dramatic, uncontrollable mood swings all day and I've just been feeling off all week." 

Scott gave him a knowing look. "It's because of Lydia, right?"

"What?" he asked quickly. Why was he asking that?

"Why you're acting weird. It's because of last week when Lydia was bleeding out. We all saw how you reacted. It's alright if you still-"

"Yeah, it's probably that," Stiles interrupted. He did not want to have that conversation right now. Suppressed feelings for Lydia were the last thing he wanted to discuss in the high school hallway where she-- or worse, Malia-- could easily hear. "We can talk about that later. But I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about this morning."

"It's okay," Scott said, genuinely. "Let's go to lunch."

Lunch came, and the pack gathered for their only free time during the day. They discussed the events with Tracy, as they knew more trouble was coming. Stiles nodded in agreement, but, unusually, he didn’t speak much on the topics. 

"I wonder how many of them there are," Kira pondered.

"There's gotta be a lot. But we all remember what to do if one of us gets attacked again. Just follow the precautions. We have to stay together more often than not. At least until we know for sure that we're all safe," Scott said. He's been saying that same thing, rephrased a different way each time, for a week now. Stiles was about to point out how many times he's said the same thing over and over again, but he decided to keep it to himself considering Scott had just forgiven him for doing so this morning.

Lydia, too, was feeling quite reserved for her opinionated self. She ate more food, as if that would help. But on and on and on the pack went, talking about clues and predictions so much, that her head started to hurt. It was throbbing. She rubbed her temples but to no avail. Frustrated, she grunted in pain and the pack stopped mid-conversation to stare at her. 

She looked up, taken aback, and said, “Sorry, really, it’s just, I have a really painful headache.”

“Yeah, me too,” Stiles said and stood up from the table. “Let’s go get some water.”

She followed him to the front door of the school. He turned around and raked his hand through his hair, then placed it on her back. 

“I was talking with everyone this morning and I lashed out on Scott for just trying to remind us of something,” he stammered. She looked at him strangely. He continued, “And then, I get into history, and I suddenly want to cry. It was like, I don’t know, all of the emotions I’ve felt the past week happening one after the other today.”

“Huh,” she responded, dumbfounded. “Wait, so you’re saying you wanted to cry last week? Why is that?”

Sensing her confusing, he swallowed and moved his hands around defensively, “Oh, well you know, it’s the hormones,” he said and gave her a slightly nervous laugh. She eyed him suspiciously. “They’re always there to haunt you.”

“Stiles,” She begged. 

“I’m fine, Lydia, really. Okay? Maybe I got a little emotional when…” He nodded his head, as if to signal his meaning.

They continued their walk down the hallway before stopping in front of the water fountain. 

“When?” She demanded and crossed her arms. 

“You know, when I saw you... on the ground... looking like you were going to die,” he answered nervously, bending down to drink some water. 

"I saw," Lydia said. "You definitely looked worried."

"Of course, I was," he explained. "You're my friend."

Lydia looked up at him and smiled up at him. There was a fluttering in his stomach that he chose to ignore. We're friends, he reminded himself.

“Well, I’m going to get some coffee. Do you want any?” She tucked her hair behind her ear and rocked back and forth on her heels. 

“No, I’m fine, thanks," he said, "but I can walk you to your car if you want."

"You're taking Scott's 'stay together' precaution very seriously," she said. "This is the second time today that you've offered to walk me somewhere."

He shrugged. "You never know when a chimera's gonna show up, right?" he said, mocking Scott's words in his best Scott McCall voice. She laughed briefly, even though the topic was about a serious threat. They started walking in the direction of the front door. "The Starbucks cashier could even be one." She laughed louder that time. "Don't laugh, Lyds. This is a very serious conversation."

"Very serious," she repeated, now mocking him. She put on her best serious face, but failed after a few seconds when she started laughing again.

Stiles knew that they shouldn't take this as a joke, but this was the first time he'd seen Lydia laugh in a long time. Brushes with death have stripped her of joy. The whispers she hears of death have darkened her glow. He figured that a couple of chimera jokes were worth seeing Lydia so carefree. 

Stiles opened the door and held it for Lydia. They walked into the lot together.

Stiles looked over at her. She still had the remnant of a smile on her face. Her smile was contagious. He hated it, but then again, he really didn't.

She looked up when she noticed his gaze. He looked away but was still smiling.

"What?" she questioned.

"It's nothing," he replied, looking at the ground in front of him. "It's just that I haven't seen you like this in a long time."

"Like what?"

"Happy."

He looked back down at her. Even in heels, she was still a half-foot shorter than him. Her smile settled into a neutral expression.

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it 'happy'," she started.

"Don't ruin it," he said, laughing. She laughed, too. He missed spending time with her. He hadn't spent much of his free time with her other than trying to solve supernatural problems together. But he liked moments like this. They're nice.

They got to their car and Lydia opened the door. “Okay, well, I’ll see you later,” she said as she opened her car door. "Thanks for protecting me from all of the many chimeras that we just encountered."

"My pleasure. See you," Stiles said, then walked back to the school, smiling.

As she got into her car, she thought about what Stiles had said. He'd been having mood swings all day. Kind of similar to what Lydia had been experiencing all day. It was strange, but she passed it off as purely coincidental.

\--

Lydia woke up screaming in fear.

It'd been happening a lot. Night terrors used to be a regular occurrence for Lydia after Peter attacked her, but that was almost two years ago. It's probably just the aftermath of getting stabbed by Tracy, she thought.

After she calmed down, she was in tears. Fear lingered in her mind, but she was less frantic now. She looked over at the clock. 3:26 in the morning. Fabulous, Lydia thought to herself. She still had to go to school tomorrow and she was too scared to go back to sleep. 

She picked up her phone thinking that maybe watching cat videos on YouTube would ease her anxiety. She had two new messages from Scott and one from Kira. She thought at first that maybe something bad had happened, but Scott was just informing her about the pack meeting after school tomorrow and Kira had some kind of question about the AP Biology homework.

All of a sudden, Lydia felt drowsy again. She put her phone down and lied back. Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell back asleep.

\--

Stiles woke up screaming in fear.

He had night terrors on and off ever since the Nogitsune had first possessed him. He was just grateful that Malia wasn't there that night. Last time he had a night terror, she jerked awake and nearly clawed his face off out of fear.

His dad ran in as he has many times before and held him as he tried to calm down. After the initial panic faded, Stiles was in tears. He turned around and hugged his father thankfully, but still anxious. After the sheriff was sure that Stiles was alright, he left the room. Stiles mumbled a "thank you" as he closed the door.

Stiles looked at the clock. 3:26 in the morning. Great, Stiles thought to himself.

He tried to go back to bed, but was still jittery and scared. His breathing was heavy and staggered. He thought of good things that usually calmed him down when he was anxious. He thought of Scott, he thought of Star Wars, he thought of his father. He then remembered some advice he was given a while ago.

He held his breath for ten seconds while laying in his bed. It must have worked, because he then fell asleep five minutes later.

\--

The pack gathered after school that day, and since it was Friday, they ordered pizza and decided to watch a movie after having some serious discussions. Scott knew that everyone had been emotionally unstable, so he thought bringing everyone together would make things easier. 

“A lot of things happened in the past week,” Scott paused, looking around the room, “so, if anyone wants to talk about something, anything, we’re here for you.”

“What is this, therapy?” Malia said and tilted her head back on the couch. 

“It's alright, Malia. I think it’s a good idea,“ Kira replied, trying not to laugh at Malia's comment.

Everyone was silent for a few moments before Liam spoke up, “Since no one’s talking, why don’t we try to guess who could be a chimera. Anyone suspicious?”

“I, for one, know that Stiles has been a little off lately...anyone else?” Scott said jokingly, although Stiles did not register this as a joke.

“What is that supposed to mean? You think I’m a chimera?” he said, offended. 

“No, but maybe you have something on your mind that you should tell everyone else.” 

“That’s my business. And besides, there’s nothing. I’m fine,” he said. 

His heart beat quickened and he put his head in his hands. He did not want anyone to think that he was a chimera. It was all rattled in his brain.

Lydia cleared her throat. “Well, I think that instead of looking at it in a broad way, we need to narrow everyone down. We can’t be stalking random people. We need to pay attention to the ones whom we actually know.”

“That’s a good point,” Theo told her. “If it is someone random, we have to have proof. So why not start with all the possibilities.”

Lydia started to feel really anxious. A single bead of sweat dripped down her forehead. 

“Okay, what does everyone think?” Stiles asked, but his pale face and sweaty palms did not go unnoticed by the rest of the pack. 

“I think you’re looking really pale,” Liam said. 

“No, we’re not going to get anywhere if everyone is so curious about me. Just answer the question. Someone,” He hissed. 

“Look, I have no idea,” Lydia said, “but I think I need to go. I’m not feeling great.”

“There’s a lot of that going around,” Malia said. 

“I’ll be better tomorrow,” Lydia said, rushing out the door towards her car. 

Stiles couldn’t leave, too, or else they’d suspect something. So he stayed with the pack until they narrowed the names down. 

\--

That night was a night that Stiles wanted desperately to forget.

You killed him, he repeated in his mind for the twentieth time after his call with Scott, You killed him. Scott will never forgive you. What would he think when you tell him that you killed someone that he was trying to protect? He would hate you.

Stiles paced around his room. He felt like a psycho. A murderer. He knew that he was only trying to protect himself, but Donovan even said that he wasn't going to kill him, only eat his legs. Stiles winced at the thought. But the fact that he killed someone who wasn't even trying to kill him made Stiles feel more guilt than he'd ever felt before. He thought about how selfish his own actions were. 

And what was even worse was that Scott had said that it wasn’t our goal to kill the victims. Donovan was a victim. And Stiles killed him. 

He sat down on the floor by his bed and leaned against it. He put his head in his hands and silent tears escaped his eyes. He was overwhelmed and didn't know what else to do. He reached for the phone in his pocket. He dialed the number of the one person he knew he could talk to about this.

\--

Lydia, who was sound asleep a minute ago, was now crying uncontrollably with an overwhelming amount of anxiety. This was different than a simple night terror.

She winced in pain. Her shoulder killed. It feels like someone tore through her flesh. She touched the skin on her shoulder to make sure she wasn't bleeding and sure enough, she wasn't.

She could feel her heart pounding swiftly in her chest and her breath sped up. Her vision was blurred with tears and she was completely disoriented. Her whole body started to shake. She could not think of anything else besides the tremendous amount of fear.

The only time she's ever felt this way was in the fifth grade when there was that big earthquake. She remembered her mom taking her to the doctor, thinking it was an asthma attack or something and they said- Wait, Lydia thought, this is a panic attack.

All of a sudden, she heard something ringing. It sounded echoed. She looked for the source of the ringing and then saw the light of her phone. She picked it up, still shaking, and answered it.

"Stiles?"

For a brief moment, they both breathed heavily through the phone. Stiles took a deep breath before responding.

“Lydia? Uh- hey,” his voice was shaky, as if he was crying.

“Stiles, what is it? Stiles?”

“I can’t--I’m--I can’t breath--” Stiles managed to say.

“Stiles, hey, listen, okay? Just try to breath steadily, just try to--”

At this point, they were both having a panic attack, and being that they were on the phone, there was nothing Lydia could think of to do. 

So she sucked in and held her breath for ten seconds. After the seconds were over, she let out her breath slowly. She slumped against her bed and tried to slow her breathing. It was over. She’d done it. 

Stiles suddenly felt better, and his conversation on the phone with Lydia continued.  
“I’m better. I can breathe now. Are you okay? I don’t know--”

"What happened?"

"Lydia." Even though his fear calmed down, her name sounded like a broken sob coming from him.

“Stiles, just go to sleep and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay?” Lydia urged him. 

“Yeah, okay.”

Lydia sat on her bed, confused. Why was it that as soon as I was calm, he was too? Why are all our emotions connected? And we even had a headache at the same time.

As her exhaustion was too much to handle, Lydia slipped under the covers and fell asleep immediately. 

When she got up a few hours later that morning, Lydia sauntered down the hallway. As she stepped into the shower, her foot slipped and her ankle twisted. She grunted in pain, but the twist was small enough to walk. It still hurt, though.

\--

Stiles waited in his kitchen for Lydia to come over that day. It was Saturday, and the fact that he’d barely gotten any sleep did not make him any more tired than he’d already been for the past few weeks. He was beginning to worry that she’d be late when she walked through the door he'd left open for her, kicking her heels off and jumping when she saw Stiles sitting in the kitchen. 

“Scare you?” he laughed, getting up to head towards the living room.

Strangely, his ankle was in pain and he tried to walk it off, but Lydia was eyeing him suspiciously. 

“That’s weird,” he said, plopping on the couch. “My ankle was fine when I woke up this morning.”

"I twisted my ankle this morning in the shower. Stiles,” Lydia said, “I think you’re feeling my pain.” She sat beside him on the couch.

"Yeah, like sympathy pain, right?"

"No, I mean that I think you're literally feeling my pain."

He paused for a second, taking in what she just said. "What? How is that even possible? I don’t--”

"We’ve been having the same things happen to us at the same time. When you said your emotions fluctuated that day, so did mine. But those were my emotions that were fluctuating... I think you were feeling my emotions.”

“Well, that couldn’t--wait, last night, you had a panic attack. That was my fear. I caused your panic attack. It was mine and you had one because of me."

“Exactly,” Lydia replied.

“Are you sure it’s not a coincidence?”

“Stiles, that’s the third time. Don’t you get it?”

“Oh, okay. Let’s just test it. To be sure.”

“How so?”

He thought for a moment, then came up with an idea. "Go into the hallway and think of the saddest thing you've ever experienced. Bring yourself back to that moment. We'll see if I feel it, too."

Without another word, she walked into the hallway hidden from Stiles’s view.

Immediately, Allison came to her mind. She remembered the moment she knew, the moment she knew Allison was going to die. She was in the cellar with Stiles and she was overcome with utter fear that she wouldn’t see her again. And she didn’t. Her best friend was dead. She remembers the scream. She remembers crying on Stiles's shoulder after. So the tears came just like on that night. She tried to withhold her sobs as best as possible. 

Stiles sat on the couch, and he thought about all the happy times of the past year to try to contradict Lydia’s emotions. Playing lacrosse when Lydia cheered him on, the formal when Lydia finally agreed to dance with him, his dad, everything. But suddenly, he couldn’t control the sudden wave of sadness that came through him. The tears fell like a waterfall and he got up, still limping, to find Lydia against the wall. 

He pulled her into his arms for a meaningful embrace. Lydia nestles her head into the crook of his neck. She felt some kind of comfort from his touch. Something deep inside of her felt so right. He was her best friend. That was probably why.

Multiple times, he said he said he was sorry. "Lydia, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he repeated through tears. He feels terrible for making her do this. She began to calm down and so did Stiles as a result.

After they pulled apart, Lydia laughed a little, wiping tears from her cheeks.

“I told you so,” she said.

Her hand traveled toward his shoulder. They both jumped back in pain.

"Are you alright?" asked Lydia, alarmed. "Wait, did something happen to your shoulder?"

"No," he said quickly.

"I felt it last night. My shoulder. It felt like someone was ripping my skin off, but there was no real wound. It still hurts like a bitch. And when I touched your shoulder... it hurt me. It was the same with my ankle. And we got sick at the same time at the pack meeting yesterday. And a week ago, we had a headache at the exact same time."

"So, we can feel each other's physical pain and emotions. What is this? What do you think it is?"

"I don't know, Stiles," she said. Both of them went to the living room and settled back onto the couch. "We can research it later. Maybe it's something supernatural."

"Maybe it has something to do with you being a banshee. Holy shit. Am I dying?"

"No, you are not dying."

"Okay," he breathes a sigh of relief. "So when did this start?"

"As far as I know, it started last week," she said. "I don't feel everything you're feeling, I'm sure. I think it's only if the emotion is extreme enough."

"Do you think there is any way to control it?"

"Probably."

"Wow, this really is weird."

"I know," Lydia said, "but we just have to deal with it, I guess."

\--

That night, Stiles headed home and went straight to the computer. He had no clue what he was supposed to search. Feeling someone else’s emotions, was one he tried. Nothing significant came up. Emotional Tether, he tried again. Nothing. Supernatural Connections, this one spiked his interest. After some digging, he realized that it wasn’t connections between two people, but how all the creatures connected. He sighed. Everything he could think of only came up with results that were completely irrelevant. 

Giving up, Stiles slumped back in his chair and thought about the weird occurrences between him and Lydia. Then, he thought about how far they’d come. From his obsession of her to him knowing her better than anyone. And he was pretty sure it went both ways. Because he’d never forget when she said to him, “you’re the one who always figures it out.” Which that wasn’t completely true. He felt like it took the two of them to figure things out. They were so compatible that he had to call Lydia multiple times just to get the last pieces that he needed. It's a cliché thought, but it felt like they fit together as perfectly as puzzle pieces. What Stiles lacks, Lydia makes up for. What Lydia lacks, Stiles makes up for. They make a good team. Maybe this connection was trying to tell them something. Something he's wanted for a long time.

He caught himself mid-thought. He knew he was in a relationship. It was not right for him to think that way about Lydia when he had a girlfriend. It wasn't fair to Malia, how he felt for Lydia. She was someone who’d had no question about dating him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t hesitate with Malia. But that still didn't stop Stiles from feeling something for Lydia for some reason. It just made him suppress the feelings.

\--

Lydia was embarrassed about breaking down like that, but she remembered Stiles telling her that she was beautiful when she cried. That made her feel so much better. It always did. Feeling a wave of affection, Lydia thought about all those times her sophomore year when this random kid had been pining after her the entire time. Turns out, it had been since third grade. Thinking about this made her smile, because it isn’t often when a third grader keeps a crush on a girl until high school. But Stiles did. 

Then Lydia couldn’t help herself when guilt came crashing into that wave of affection. She spent that entire time that he was constantly doing things for her just ignoring him. Stiles was the best thing that ever happened to Lydia; he was the only one that realized how smart she was. He made her more confident. He made her nicer and more caring. Yet Lydia threw that all away when she threw herself at guys. She didn’t do it to hurt him. She did it because she was so busy not knowing. But she did hurt him, she realized. It was all her fault. 

Then Lydia realized that the affection and guilt she just felt were not rooted from her own emotions.

They were Stiles's.


	2. you can see it with the lights out.

It became difficult for Stiles and Lydia to decipher their feelings; it was hard to depict whether Lydia was feeling her own emotions or if she felt Stiles’s, and vice versa. The connection was beneficial, yet annoying because they would have to figure out whether their feelings were coming from them or the other person.

So that’s what they decided to do.

But first, Stiles wanted to tell Scott because he had definitely noticed the two spending more time together. And Stiles was his best friend. 

Stiles sat on his floor and Scott was beside him. He went over to Stiles’s house because he didn’t want to leave him alone with the Dread Doctors constantly sabotaging their lives. Lydia was coming over later that night because there was no way Stiles would let her stay home alone. Especially since she was a renown banshee in the supernatural world. Malia was spending the night at Kira's house and Liam was with Mason.

After they’d finished their homework, the two of them were silent for a while. Stiles had to work up the courage to tell him about Lydia because he’d been lying this whole time. 

“Stiles?” Scott asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah?”

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” 

“It always beats this fast,” he replied as if it was obvious. 

“No, it doesn’t."

"Yes, it does."

" _Stiles_ ," Scott said sternly, "is this about Lydia?" Scott paused expecting an answer, but instead, heard Stiles sigh deeply. "I wanted to talk to you about this for a while, but there was never a good time. Did something happen between the two of you? Are you-"

"No," Stiles cut him off. "I wouldn't do that and neither would she."

"Then why are you so anxious?”

“I-- uh. So, you know when I lashed out on you the other day?” Scott nodded. “Well, a few days later, Lydia and I had been having panic attacks, but at the same time. So-- uh, she told me about how she’d been angry about the traffic, then nervous, then sad, and so on and we realized that those were the same emotions I went through that day.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m _saying_ that Lydia and I were feeling the same emotions and physical pains. So we decided to test it out. She--um, thought about something sad and I was trying to think of happy things to try and stop it, but suddenly got just as emotional as she did. And I didn’t even know what she thought about.”

“What do you mean? Is it some sort of connection, like Deaton said when--”

 

“The day that Lydia kissed me,” Stiles said, having a realization.

But Scott was too confused to wonder what Stiles meant. “Lydia _kissed_ you?” Scott almost shouted and Stiles’s eyes widened in recognition of what he’d just admitted. “Oh my God, Stiles. Why the hell did you not tell me?” Scott couldn’t decide whether he was angry or happy at this point, but he just needed answers. 

“That--I wasn’t. It was a long time ago, okay? That’s not the point,” Stiles said, standing up.

“What? I don’t care what the point is... please, just tell me about the kiss, Stiles.”

Stiles hesitated and rubbed his hands in his face, sighing deeply. Then, he sat on the edge of his bed and gulped. Scott looked at him in excitement and anticipation.

“It was the day when our parents had been taken. We’d just gotten a text that she took Argent. It was like, I don’t know. He was our last hope.” He paused. Tapped his fingers together. “So I had a panic attack. I was with Lydia. She took me into the locker room and tried to calm me down. Just before I began to slow my breathing, she kissed me. And she said--she told me it was because she read something about holding your breath stopping panic attacks, and kissing me made me hold my breath.” 

“ _Stiles_ ,” Scott demanded. “You kissed the girl you were in love with and you didn’t even tell me?”

“ _She_ kissed _me_ ,” Stiles retorted. 

“What difference does it make? Stiles, have you talked to her about this?”

“Well, no, but--”

Just then, Lydia’s heels clicked up the stairs to Stiles’s room. He immediately stopped talking just before she opened the door, only to find the two of them looking very strange. Stiles had a very nervous expression on his face, and Scott raised his eyebrows just barely hiding a grin. Lydia looked at them sideways and set her stuff on his desk. 

She sat on the desk chair, clapped her hands to her thighs, and said, “Alright, what’s going on?”

Stiles scratched his neck and Scott stood up and sat next to Stiles on the bed. 

“Nothing. We were just discussing important matters,” Stiles confessed. “You know, relationships.”

Lydia nodded, but a sensation of jealousy coursed through her, and Stiles felt a pang of it, too. He tried to hold back a smirk.

Scott walked out to take a shower which left Stiles and Lydia alone. 

“Did you tell him?” Lydia asked.

“Tell him what?”

“About the thing...I don’t know, the _connection_. Did you tell Scott? Is that why you were acting all weird?”

“Oh, uh--yeah, I did. He was nagging me.”

“Are you serious? Look, I know you’re best friends. But this is something that I thought we’d keep to ourselves until we figured it out.”

“I know, I’m sorry. We can trust Scott. But he was getting suspicious…”

“Of _what_ , Stiles?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he thought I was--”

“ _Cheating_? Oh my _God_.” 

“Lydia--”

"Why is it that when I’m friends with someone people automatically think there’s something else going on? I’m _tired_ of being pushed to that level. Not everything is about sex, okay? Just because we’ve been hanging out so much does not mean we’ve been having sex,” she almost shouted at this point. 

That’s when Scott, in the shower, listened in on the conversation. He knew it was not a good idea, but he didn’t want either of them getting hurt because of him. 

“Hey, Lydia, what is this about?” Stiles asked, worry painted all over his features. 

Tears slid down her face. She couldn’t handle it anymore. The constant stress they were under, the Dread Doctors, and now this. She starts to feel almost...-- _ugh, what is wrong with me?_ she thought, _Lydia Martin does not openly cry over boys_.

She wiped tears from her eyes and breathed deeply after reminding herself who she really was. Stiles felt the sadness and immediately stood up and reached for Lydia to try to comfort her, but she flinched. 

“Nothing,” she replied passive-aggressively. “I’m leaving.”

“No, Lydia, please don’t. You can’t--” his words were interrupted by the slamming of the door. 

He tried to run after her, but she drove off without acknowledging him. He figured that her stress is rooted from the constant state of fear that they're both in, so he let her go.

Just as Stiles returned to his room, Scott emerged from the bathroom.

"What just happened?" Scott asked.

Stiles ran his hand through the hair on the back of his head and then sat back down on his bed. "I told Lydia that I told you about the connection. She wanted to know why I told you, so I told her that I only told you because you were suspicious of me cheating. She took it the wrong way and got really mad. She just left."

"Man," Scott said and walked toward Stiles's bed. He sat next to him. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause drama between the two of you."

"I know you didn't," Stiles said. "It's not your fault."

All of a sudden, Stiles felt a rush of anger, sadness, and guilt all at once. He knew it was Lydia's feelings. He hears a buzz. He figures that a fly was loose in his room.

"How's she feeling?" Scott asked. "Can you feel it?"

"Yeah. Not good."

"Damn, that is so strange."

"Says the teenage werewolf."

"Yeah, but still," Scott said, "we've never seen anything like this before."

"Yeah, I know," Stiles said and scratched the back of his head. "I wonder what this means."

"Maybe it means that you guys are meant for each other."

"I'm with Malia."

"Yeah, but you've always liked Lydia," Scott explained, "and now you finally have a chance to be with her. I've never understood why you were so attached to her for all this time, but maybe this is why."

"Scott."

"Stiles," Scott interrupted as he was about to talk, "do you still have feelings for her?"

Stiles paused to contemplate. Of course he still had feeling for Lydia, but he wasn't willing to readily admit that. "Like I said," Stiles said and stood up from his bed to get his phone off of his desk, "I'm with Malia. Doesn't matter anyway. I'll never have a chance with Lydia."

Scott felt Stiles's heart speed up at the mere mention of his feelings for Lydia. No way in hell was Scott about to let this one go. "Is that what you're telling yourself?" Scott asked. "Because from what _I_ understand-"

"Look," Stiles said before Scott could go on, "I can't talk about this right now. It's not right."

Stiles sat back down on his bed with his phone. He texted Liam to see if he and Mason were doing alright. He did the same with Malia.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but your feelings for her can't stay suppressed forever. And they won't go away, either," Scott said.

Stiles put his phone down at his side. He was about to argue against him, but he knew that Scott was right. Stiles breathed deeply hoping that the feelings would go away once he breathed out, but they never did. They never did. "You're right," Stiles admits in defeat.

"I know I am."

"But that doesn't mean I'm gonna do anything about it. Not right now."

"That's okay," Scott said, "but you should go find her. Apologize or something. On nights like this, she shouldn't be alone."

He got up off of the bed after a few moment of silence. He grabbed his keys off of his desk and left without another word.

\--

Lydia was angry. More than anything, she was angry; although, that wasn't the only thing that she was feeling. The other feelings were unrecognizable. She felt like she wanted to be alone, but then again, something in her mind wanted Stiles to be there with her. 

They were good friends. Lydia relied on him in a way. Right now, he was the closest person to her. He was the one who always listened to her. He knew the most about her as a person. He was the only one she allowed to be this close to her. Lydia didn't really know why exactly, but she just felt very comfortable when she was with him. It was easy to be close to him. 

Lydia took her keys out of her purse and opened her front door. She doubted that her mother was awake. She didn't feel very tired, though. She closed the door behind her, took her shoes off, and immediately headed toward the couch.

She took her phone out and settled herself into a comfortable position. One missed call from Scott, three from Stiles. She almost called them back, but she decided against it. She laid her head back against the couch cushion. She'd been through way too much stress today. 

Suddenly, there was a feeling of... well, she didn't know what. It was something good. It made her feel warm inside and her stomach fluttered. It was weird. She's never felt so emotionally sound in such a time of stress. There was a buzzing in the back of her mind.

The feeling made her think of Stiles; how she felt when she thought about him. It felt just like this. She thought of his light brown eyes hitting her own. How he looked when she knows he's thinking attentively. How she felt when she kissed him. It almost felt like-

Lydia was snapped out of her thoughts when her doorbell rang.

She knew it was him. After three missed calls, it was just like Stiles to run after her to her house. 

She walked towards the door and took one deep breath before she opened it. 

Stiles stood, facing the opposite way. When he turned around, his face was distraught and he had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. Lydia cleared her throat before she ushered him into the house. He sat on the couch, placing his shaky hands on his lap. 

“Look, Lydia,” he said as Lydia sat down next to him, “You and I both know that we need each other to figure this out, okay? And, I don’t want you to be mad at me...or Scott.”

“I may have overreacted. I know that people used to think of me as-”

“They _what_? What do you mean?”

"I don't know, a whore? Homewrecker? It doesn’t matter. But I just got a little sensitive and I’m sorry. And I’m also tired of not actually knowing what is happening between us.”

Stiles looked at her, confused. She caught herself and her eyes widened. Then she laughed. It was quick, but it was something.

“I mean the connection. The-- uh, thing where we feel each other's emotions,” she corrected herself. 

Stiles suddenly felt stupid due to his overestimation. "Oh."

“So, the thing is, how do we know which feelings are mine and which are yours?”

They paused. 

“Yeah, exactly. There has to be some kind of signal, something that will tell us, you know?” Stiles replied. 

“But what…”

They sat in silence for a while. It was obvious that they had spent countless hours of researching something they didn’t even know the name of. Let alone the cause of it. 

They decided to call it a night because Lydia urged Stiles to sleep. She had a bad feeling that his sleeping habits weren’t at their best. 

"I'll be fine," Lydia assured. "My mom is here with me. She's a very light sleeper."

"I don't know. I still don't like this. Maybe I should stay."

"Go. Scott probably needs you more than I do."

"That's... true," Stiles admitted.

"So, go. I'll tell you if I see or hear anything. Good night."

"Fine. But I'm not happy about it," Stiles said quietly. Lydia smiled reassuringly. "Good night."

So Stiles, as quietly as he could, walked outside and into his jeep and drove away. As he did, though, he began to feel something in the pit of his stomach. It was familiar. It felt nostalgic because it was the butterflies he used to get in his stomach whenever he saw Lydia when they were kids. It's become increasingly less nerve-wracking and more comfortable to be around Lydia now that they were actually friends.

But why was he feeling them now? 

Suddenly, an ear piercing buzz startled Stiles. He felt the urge to cover his ears and he would have if he weren't driving. It sounded like the fly in his room that night, but a lot louder.

It was loud and it was distracting, but nothing was more distracting than that feeling deep inside of him. 

He pulled over for a while to avoid an accident. He wanted to call Lydia, but he also wanted her to get some sleep.

He began to think about Lydia. Like, _really_ think about her. She was no longer just the girl he had a borderline obsessive crush on. No. She was so much more. She was his partner. They had a connection. He was right about the connection. He shared this bond with her that was so strong. He wanted to hold her. To run his hands through her perfect strawberry blonde hair and look deep into her green eyes. He wanted to tell her that he-

Nope. No. He couldn’t think this way when he had a girlfriend. He had a girlfriend and that girlfriend was _not_ Lydia Martin. 

He winced. He didn't wanna think about how he wanted her to be his girlfriend. Fuck.

And suddenly, the feelings and the buzzing all stopped.

\--

She climbed up the stairs to her bedroom and finally set her head on the pillow. She didn’t even know what time it was. But for some reason, she couldn’t fall asleep. She never usually had this problem. She could have coffee right before bed and still be able to fall asleep. But she got the feeling that maybe she wasn’t the cause of it.

After a few minutes of staring up at her ceiling, thinking about all the people who did have trouble sleeping, she began to feel panicky. Sweat dripped down her forehead and she had trouble breathing. She was shaking so hard that she almost fell off the bed. Her mom must’ve heard her in the other room because she came barging into the room to find Lydia in the middle of the anxiety attack. She heard that same buzz from before.

And suddenly, it stopped. 

\--

Stiles arrived at his house around 12 am. He creeped towards his bedroom and saw Scott asleep. He dressed for bed, and he thought about killing Donovan. Again. It was a burden that would never go away, and he understood why Scott was always so reluctant to kill all of their enemies. Then he thought about how keeping this lie from him would only make their friendship worse. And Stiles was not one to lose his best friends. Telling Scott what he’d done would also make everything worse. 

Then he started sweating. A sudden feeling of panic swept through him and he fell to his knees. Then he shook all over, and at that point, he was on the ground. His breathing was heavy and stagnant. After a few moments, he heard Scott calling his name. When his vision unblurred, Scott came into focus.

“Stiles, is it a panic attack? Just try to hold your breath. You have to try and breathe,” he grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye. 

With all of his strength, Stiles took a deep breath and held it for ten seconds. His breathing settled, and the panic attack was over. 

\--

Because it stopped so suddenly, Lydia figured that it was Stiles’s panic attack and not hers. This worried her even more because the mere fact that these panic attacks threatened him every second was not a good sign. For him _or_ for her. 

It frustrated her that they had to constantly be in fear of the other, yet, simultaneously, it was good to know that she would know whether he was okay or not. But what confused her was if this “feeling each other’s feelings” had just started, or if it was something they always felt but didn’t realize. 

Her mom brought her a cool rag and placed it on her pale forehead. She kept asking her why she was having a panic attack, but Lydia continued responding with; _I don’t know, I just want to sleep_. Her mom said she could sleep after she cooled off. 

Stiles's constant nervousness was beginning to worry her. She'd been having anxiety attacks randomly during the past few days and when she wasn't having one, she always felt generally uneasy. She knew that the feelings weren't her own. 

Lydia had thought about confronting him about it before, but she passed his feelings off as normal supernatural fear that they all had. But lately, it'd been getting worse and worse. She was worried for Stiles, but the panic was torturous to her and she wanted it to stop. Maybe talking about it would help him.

She'd decided to take an unannounced trip to his house. She was sure that Malia wasn't there then. Malia went off with Scott and Liam for " _beta lessons_ "-- whatever that meant-- and she wouldn't be back for at least an hour.

She rang the doorbell. His dad answered. He greeted her and told her that Stiles was upstairs. Lydia smiled at him and walked up the stairs and into Stiles's room. He was laying face-up on his bed, phone in hand. Lydia gently knocked on the door to get his attention. He was startled, Lydia could feel it. He shot up from his bed and eased when he realized that it was just her.

"Lydia," he said, relieved. "Hey. You scared me for a second."

"Yeah," Lydia started, "that's actually what I came to talk to you about."

"What?" They both sat down on his bed.

"I've been having anxiety attacks lately. A lot of them. And they're not because of me." Stiles looked down. He knew that Lydia would figure it out eventually; especially now that their emotions were connected. Stiles really didn't want to tell her about it. He was afraid that she'd see him differently. "Stiles, I can feel your anxiety," she said impatiently. “Just tell me. I won't be mad at you or anything."

"It's not something little that I can just move forward from," Stiles said. He tried to keep himself from tearing up. "I made a mistake. A big mistake. It could ruin a lot of things for me if it ever got out."

"I won't tell anyone," she said soothingly and put her hand on his back. She, comfortingly, traced circles with her palm. He looked like he was about to cry. He was about to cry. She could feel it. "It'll be okay."

"No, it won't," he said quietly. "I'm gonna lose Scott."

"You'd never lose Scott. He's, like, your brother."

"It'll happen. I guarantee it."

"There is nothing you could do that would make him hate you."

"Really, Lydia?" Stiles said bitterly. He looked her in the eye. Her hand moved to his shoulder. "I killed him."

"Scott?"

"No," Stiles said, looking back down at the floor. A tear escaped his eye and Lydia could feel herself tearing up as a result. "Donovan." It came out in a broken voice.

"What? How?"

"He was trying to hurt me. He was a chimera. He came at me from behind in the parking lot of the school. That's why my shoulder hurts. That's why your shoulder hurts. I escaped from him by hitting him in the head with a wrench. I ran into the library. He did, too. He kept talking about my dad. He said something about how his father was my dad's partner. My dad got him hurt somehow and the guy's now paralyzed from the waist down. He tried to hurt me. He wasn't going to kill me. But I killed him."

The tears were fell faster. He looked at Lydia, and both of their eyes were red and full of tears. Lydia put her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a tight embrace. 

"It's not your fault, Stiles. It was self-defense," Lydia whispered through their shared tears.

"Well, then why do I feel like a murderer?" Stiles fell limp in her arms. She was okay with that.

Lydia felt all of the pain and guilt that she knew Stiles was feeling. She heard the buzzing again. _Wait_.

"Stiles," she said as she pulled away enough to see his face. Her arms fell from his neck to her lap. Their faces were both wet with tears. She hated to bring this up at such a sensitive moment, but Lydia knew that he should know this.

"Hmm?" Even the hum sounded broken. She can't help but mourn the fact that the boy-- who was once so full of life and happiness-- was so broken-looking. His love for life was gone. She could no longer see it in his eyes. "Wait. Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The buzzing. I think that I might have accidentally let a fly in here. I heard it the other night, too."

"No, but-"

"You feel sad. Are you okay?"

"Listen," she said as patiently as she could. "The buzzing. I think it's what happens when we, you know, feel each other's emotions."

"Have you heard it, too?"

"Yeah. A few times now. But I just realized that it's connected to our connection." She pondered this for a second. "I think that this is a good thing; we're able to tell our feelings apart now."

Stiles nodded. He's always praised her for being so smart. She was right. This was a good thing. He knew that they were going to figure this out. They'd figure it out together. They always did.

"I hear it again," Lydia said, covering her ears. Her words completely snapped him out of his trance. _Shit_ , he thought, she knows. Or maybe he should take a chance. 

"What do you feel?" he asked. She looked confused, so he decided to reword the question. "What am I feeling?"

"I-" Lydia really didn't wanna answer this one. She knew the answer, but no way in hell was she going to say anything about it. She put on her best confused-face and looked down at her hands in her lap. "-don't know. It's gone now."

He wasn't about to push her. He knew better. And he knew it was wrong. This was wrong. She felt uncomfortable now; he could feel it.

"Never mind."

\--

The rest of the week, Lydia took her free time to dig deeper in the research. She gathered books from the school library, the local library, and the bookstore, determined to get answers. The books were about mythologies of connections between two people. She remembered the term that Deaton mentioned, Emotional Tethers, and found a few resources that she could read. It was exhausting. Not necessarily researching but finding the stuff to research in general. It was hard to determine what exactly they were dealing with. 

After hours of reading through the material, Lydia day-dreamed. She sat on her desk chair, staring out the window. But she didn’t see anything outside. What she saw was what she thought.

Stiles used to be a weird, nerdy kid that strangely pined after her, starting in high school. She never would’ve imagined ever hanging out with him. But things had changed. Lydia didn’t change, but she became who she really was. Her whole life she was forced to be at the top of everything. And if she couldn’t be at the top of something, she’d find a way. That was until she discovered the supernatural world. And that her ex-boyfriend was a kanima who poisoned people without his knowledge. She was heartbroken when his dad took him to London and she was stuck, single, in the supernatural-creature-attracting Beacon Hills. Jackson, she later realized, was not the kind of man she’d want to marry. 

When Lydia met Stiles-- when she really met him-- she tried to hide her gratefulness. Of his selflessness. Because she’d never seen that in a man. And when he took her to the dance and she tried so hard to get Jackson back, all he wanted to do was make Lydia feel better. But Lydia was too oblivious to realize that. 

And then he went to the hospital. She was there for days. And every day that she was there, so was Stiles. She was too head over heels for Jackson that she didn’t even realize that his gestures were ones that she knew were the most selfless thing a guy had done for her. They were things that couples did for each other. 

The time when he told her that he would go insane if she died. The times when he comforted her when even _she_ didn’t know that was what she needed. The times he protected her no matter what the consequences were. The time she kissed him to stop his panic attack and his eyes glowed with surprise and delight. The time she lost her best friend, and he was there, slumped and unconscious, and even that was comforting. All the times he was there for her. She couldn’t forget them, yet she found it hard to remember how she did not reciprocate the feelings. It pierced her heart at the thought of it every time. 

And here she was, thinking about the past when she always knew it was better to think about the present. 

Stiles looked so guilty when he confessed to her. It was hard to watch him in so much pain because the Nogitsune incident was already traumatic. And there he was, feeling guilty as hell for something he wasn’t responsible for, for something he never intended to do, and all Lydia wanted to do was to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. 

Without thinking, she picked up her phone and dialed his number. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hey,” he said solemnly.

His tired, shaky voice made chills run up Lydia’s spine. He may have been anxious about losing Scott, but his anxiety was making him lose sleep and his usual giddiness. 

“Hey, um, can we talk?” 

It was a Friday the next week, which mostly consisted of Lydia researching their connection. 

“Yeah, where?” 

“Uh, I can go over to your house...or,”

“No, I’ll go to yours. I don’t want my dad to hear me without me telling him in person.”

When Stiles arrived, he looked more tired than ever. His face was pale and his eyes were droopy and sad. Lydia led him to her couch and they sat. 

“Stiles, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m just sorry. That you feel like Scott won’t forgive you for defending yourself. For feeling so guilty. It wasn’t your fault.”

Stiles waited a moment and sighed.

“Sometimes, I try to tell myself that the longer I wait, the worse it’ll be. But this is the one thing I cannot find the nerves to tell Scott. It’s like our friendship is on the line and I don’t want to risk that.”

“I know. But you just need to do it. When the time is right, when all this Dread Doctor shit is over, you have to tell Scott. It’s the best thing to do. And to make you feel better, it was self defense.”

“Yeah, I’m having a hard time believing that.”

“ _Stiles_ , If you just go through the events in your head, you’ll convince yourself otherwise.”

“Okay.. Okay, when the time is right…”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Lydia stared at the wall. She was on the verge of tears thinking about guilt. She’d always blamed herself for Allison’s death but never mentioned it. Somehow, she knew how he felt. She thought that if she told everyone that she knew Allison would die, they would blame her. She was always scared that they would realize that Lydia knew because of her banshee powers, but no one blamed her for it. And here was Stiles, petrified that he would lose his best friend for doing something he never would’ve wanted. 

“So I researched a lot this week,” Lydia told him. 

“Find anything?”

“Not really. And it’s not an emotional tether kind of thing, because Deaton--”

 

“Oh my God, Lydia,” Stiles started, “Deaton-- he said that the day that we--” he stopped short and stood up, running a hand through his hair. 

“The day that you had a panic attack and I--” Lydia responded.

Stiles stood up, interrupting her. This is what he thought of when he accidently told Scott about his and Lydia’s kiss. He thought about mentioning it to Lydia but he shook the thought away almost immediately. In the supernatural world, Deaton was inherently the person full of knowledge and they should’ve thought of him sooner. 

“Yeah, that day. Afterwards, he paired us together for the sacrifice. Meaning--” 

“Meaning that we shouldn’t research on Google or in library books, we need to find Deaton.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! please leave kudos/a comment if you liked it! we appreciate it. next chapter will be up tomorrow.
> 
> tumblr:  
> abbie- stydiasgriffin  
> brittany- martinxki


	3. for once, you let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! We find out what Stydia is in this chapter. What kind of supernatural being they might be. So bear with us, haha.

Stiles attempted to keep his eyes open in class. Every few seconds, he would drift off into sleep and jerk awake before he fell into a deeper sleep. He kept the pattern going for a while. That way, he wouldn’t have to struggle to stay fully awake and he also wasn’t fully asleep. That was until his teacher said his name and he was on full alert.

“ _Stiles_?” The teacher said, annoyed.

He realized then that she had asked a question, and his heart sped up at the reality that this would not end well for him.

\--

Lydia took notes in class. It kept her busy, and she wanted to keep her mind off of everything that was going on. The teacher wrote the notes on the board, pausing every few seconds to record what she said before continuing with her lecture. Lydia listened with intent.

The teacher hesitated in the middle of writing down a word. She glanced curiously towards the back of the class, just behind where Lydia sat. Lydia whipped her head around to see Stiles drifting in and out of sleep. She rolled her eyes and sighed. She put her head in her hands and looked up when the teacher spoke.

“Stiles, how many rings does a typical steroid molecule contain?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

She leaned over the desk and waited for Stiles’s answer impatiently.

“Uh—that would be—” he scratched his head and counted his fingers to imply that he knew the answer.

Lydia looked back at Stiles. She felt his embarrassment. She swallowed and almost mouthed the answer but decided not to out of fear of getting caught. He looked nervous and there were snickers around the classroom. So Lydia, with all of the strength she could muster, said the answer in her mind. She mentally took the word and threw it towards him. It felt different than just answering a question in her mind as she always did.

\--

This was the third time this week that Stiles had been caught sleeping in class. It angered him that he didn’t know the answer. He was more irritated than nervous, if anything.

The teacher bore her eyes into his, and it felt like an hour had passed in this moment. In reality, it had been a few moments, and Stiles was about to give up when he heard a voice.

The word wasn’t clear. All he knew was that someone was telling him the answer. _Were they murmuring it?_ He thought to himself. He wasn’t sure. After the second time of hearing it, he caught the answer.

“ _Four_ ,” it said. It definitely wasn’t something that anyone said out loud.

He heard it in his mind. His eyes widened in realization and he opened his mouth to speak: “Four.”

He sounded almost _too_ excited. Defeated, the teacher turned around with an audible sigh and continued the lesson. Stiles’s heart unceased in beating fast. He put his head in his hands in confusion when another voice startled him.

“ _You’re welcome_ ,” it said again. He recognized the voice that time. It was Lydia’s.

\--

Lydia grinned satisfactorily when she looked back at Stiles. He squinted his eyes at her and she nodded.

Lydia looked towards the front of the class again. Stiles decided to try something. He spoke in his mind: “ _Lydia, can you hear me?_ ” he said. He could feel the word being transferred to her mind. She heard it and it startled her.

She turned around quickly and received some weird looks. Trying to stay calm, Lydia spoke back to Stiles and answered his question. She tried multitasking. While Lydia was trying to explain what had happened, she also attempted to take notes and look engaged in class. Her brain swelled in confusion. She stopped taking notes and spoke to him through her mind.

“ _We can speak telepathically_ ,” she sounded unsurprised, but her heart sped at the thought of it. Anytime, anywhere, Lydia could contact Stiles without having to reach for her phone. It was a strange phenomenon. She never would’ve expected _this_ could happen, let alone being able to feel his feelings.

" _This keeps getting stranger and stranger_ ," he said back to her.

" _We're asking Deaton about this as soon as possible_."

She shook her thoughts away and jotted down the last set of notes.

Stiles was somewhat frightened by what just happened. Lydia got him out of trouble incidentally, and this helped them realize that they were connected in more ways than one. He was fidgety for the rest of class. He hungered for answers, and he knew that they needed to talk to Deaton immediately. He didn’t know if this was something Deaton had encountered before. It was worth a shot.

For the last ten minutes of class, Stiles was fully awake. He took the opportunity to appear occupied by the class notes. He tried to hide his smile when he thought about the look on his teacher’s face when he knew the answer. Before he knew it, the bell rang. He stood up and walked out of the classroom.

\--

Lydia met Stiles in the hallway after class. Her eyes wide and mouth open, she grabbed Stiles’s arm and pulled him into an empty hallway.

“ _Stiles_ ,” she whispered, “what the hell was that?”

“I have no idea. You were the one that started it.”

She sighed and slumped against the wall. “It was weird, though. I didn’t necessarily come up with the idea myself. It was like, I don’t know, the bond urged me to speak to you. And I could almost feel it—“

“The words—you could feel the words, like, going into my mind or something,” Stiles interrupted.

“Yeah, exactly.”

She held her books in one hand, grabbed his wrist with the other, and pulled him toward the door.

"What are you doing?"

“Deaton. We have to see Deaton, now. Before _I_ have a panic attack.”

Stiles tried not to look offended and followed her out towards the school entrance. She let go of his wrist as soon as she knew that he would follow without force.

“But what about the rest of our classes?” he asked as they pushed the double doors open.

“If you really have a desire to sit through the rest of school, be my guest. But as far as I’m concerned, my school day is over and I’m going to find Deaton.”

“Nope, no desire. Let’s go,” he replied.

They found their cars in the parking lot. Stiles’s was parked a little farther back, and as he walked to his car, he heard Lydia yell, “and by the way, since you switched into AP Bio, I wouldn’t be up all night researching. You really need more sleep.”

They piled into their cars, determined to get answers. 

\--

"We need to talk to you," Lydia said as she and Stiles walked through the door of the animal clinic. Deaton stood near the counter.

"Is it about the doctors?" He smiled, letting them in.

"No," they said in unison. 

"Ah, then I think I know why you're here. Follow me to the back," Deaton said. The pair followed close behind.

"How do you know why we're here?" Stiles asked once they were all situated in the back room.

"Because," Deaton started, "do you remember when I paired you two together for the sacrifices? So Lydia could bring you back?"

"Yeah," Stiles said. Lydia listened intently.

Deaton reached for a stack of papers in the shelf. He shuffled through them and grabbed one when he looked satisfied. 

"That wasn't for no reason. You two have a very strong connection both emotionally and supernaturally. Lydia, you were about to go with Allison, your best friend. And that would have been a good idea if I hadn't noticed what tethers you two together," Deaton explained. "So what brought you here? Have you noticed anything between you two that goes beyond the natural world?"

"Yes," Lydia said. "There's this... thing... that we do. I can feel his emotions when they're extreme enough and he can feel mine. But today, it got even weirder. We can talk through our minds."

"Just as I suspected."

He perused what looked to be an article, using his finger to guide him. Stiles and Lydia glanced at each other when Deaton said a few things to himself. 

"So, what is this?" Stiles asked.

Deaton looked at the two and gave them a small smile. "You're twin flames."

Stiles and Lydia looked at each other in confusion. Neither of them had come up with that while researching.

"What are twin flames?" Stiles asked, looking back at Deaton.

"Being a twin flame is a very, very strong bond between two people,” He handed them the article he was looking through, and they both stared at the images in awe. “It's a type of soulmate, technically. But a twin flame connection is much stronger than a connection between regular soulmates. In your case, you're two halves of one soul. It's rare, even for twin flames, and it's extremely special. You are supernaturally drawn to each other and it's not something that can be controlled. It's for life. It's for everything beyond and after life."

Both of them gaped. They didn't realize that it was so serious; they thought it was just another supernatural abnormality that they constantly experienced. But it was so much more than that. It was different. They were twin flames. They were special twin flames. Two halves of a whole soul. It was rare. It was unexpected. But, in a way, Stiles had always known. He'd always suspected, but this was really happening. It was real. And it was more than he had estimated.

"There are more forms of connections. That is, anchors, emotional tethers, soulmates, and twin flames. Scott and Allison were each other's anchors. You both and your entire pack are a soul family, which is an entirely different concept. But I've sensed it ever since I've met you all. Just like I sensed that you are twin flames.”

Lydia, on the other hand, couldn't exactly explain it, but as soon as Deaton said what they were, it was like she had always known as well. Of course, there was that whole ignoring-him-for-years aspect of it, but as soon as she'd gotten to know Stiles for all that he is instead of thinking of him as just another horny teenage boy who was desperately infatuated with her, she had know that there was always something _there_. Something unexplainable.

"Now, typically," Deaton's serious tone of voice caught their attention, "twin flame connections spark romance. It's not necessarily bad to keep a platonic friendship, but the connection always holds something more powerful. As I said, if it hasn't already happened, you two will begin to feel drawn to each other. You'll feel like there is sort of a string connecting you both that gets shorter as the days pass. There is no control over it."

The room's atmosphere quickly turned awkward at the mention of love. Stiles's heart was beating particularly fast and he was beginning to break out in a sweat. It wasn't warm in there a few minutes ago. As a result, the same happened to Lydia. She heard the buzzing. It was loud. She covered her ears on instinct.

"Do you hear it?" Deaton asked. "The buzz. It happens when you can feel what he's feeling. It gets louder with more intense emotions. It might go away... eventually."

"What does that mean?" Stiles asked, curiously. He tried to slow his heart rate for the sake of Lydia.

"You'll find out. I'm sure you will," Deaton explained with a smile, but neither of them smiled back; although, they looked calmer. 

“So, why do you have so many papers on twin flames?” Lydia asked, handing the paper back to him.

“Ah,” he started. “That’s because when I discovered the connection between the two of you, I did a lot of research. But the real answer was twin flames. So I kept these papers for this day.”

“Why didn’t you tell us when you found out?” Stiles asked. 

“Well, you just now started feeling the connection, right?” He smiled. “Besides, it’s not my expertise. You should figure it out together. That's something that I know you can do. But I advise the two of you to keep this to yourselves. I have more information to use and I need to know any updates. This connection could be more useful than you think.”

“How so?” Lydia asked. 

"That answer will also come eventually. You both should head home. Neither of you look like you're feeling well."

They both muttered a quick goodbye to Deaton and headed to each of their homes without another word. They didn't need words. They could feel the unspoken words within each other.

\--

Lydia finished her homework with satisfaction, so she took her free time to research. She was relieved that she actually knew _what_ to research. Although it took effort to find twin flame theories, she managed to gather a few good resources. It awed her that people wrote all kinds of blog posts and articles about this supernatural connection. In the non-supernatural world, these people would be delusional. 

She was so pleased with what she found that she decided to head over to Stiles’s house to show him. What was there to lose? She decided to act normal.

She placed the papers she printed in a file folder and walked out the door. It was just after dinner. 

When she arrived at his house, Sheriff Stilinski opened it with a sandwich in his mouth. He took a few bites before speaking.

“Lydia, hey. Uh, Malia is with Stiles, but you can go up there if you need to.”

“Thank you,” she murmured crept up the stairs. 

She hoped he would be okay with talking to her. It’d been awhile since she’d seen the pair together. She shook the thought off when she reached the last step. 

She almost gasped when she heard moaning and giggles. Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. _Shit_ , she thought. Her heart sped up and she almost fell down the stairs. She heard whispering in the room and she immediately walked back down. She tried her best to not make a sound. 

\--

Stiles played with Malia’s hair as he took in her kiss. Kiss after kiss after kiss. He could sense her getting angry that he’d been spending so much time with Lydia, but kissing her lessened his doubts. 

Stiles felt something strange. He’d never felt it before. And it had nothing to do with the kiss. He tried to ignore it, but something kept pulling at him. He couldn’t register what it was. In the middle of their kiss, Stiles widened his eyes and had a realization. Lydia. He stopped in the middle of the kiss, and Malia looked at him, confused. He slowly rose from the seating position on the bed and walked towards the door. When he opened it, he saw Lydia halfway down the stairs. 

Lydia shot her head back when the door opened. She gulped. Stiles walked to the top of the stair case.

“Lydia, hey, what are you doing here?”

She shrugged. "I was just coming to ask you about the homework.”

Stiles tilted his head sideways in confusion. She gave him a look. Then he understood.

“Oh, right, you can stay and we can talk it over,” he said. 

“No, that’s alright. I can ask someone else.”

“Oka--”

The sound of Lydia walking down the steps interrupted his words. She walked out of the house as fast as possible as an awkward situation brewed. She tried not to imagine exactly what they were doing in there. She was bothered in a weird way. _Not for romantic reasons_ , she thought. _It’s only because I selfishly forgot that they were dating and I expected them to be talking about the Dread Doctors._

She got into her car, embarrassed as ever. She audibly growled in chagrin as she shifted gears and pulled out of his driveway. She couldn’t believe that she didn’t expect that. 

When she arrived home, she changed into pajamas and crawled into her bed. She fell right asleep to keep herself from thinking.

\--

Stiles walked back into the room with a strange expression on his face. He heard buzzing, and he was jealous. _Jealous? Why would I be jealous?_

It hit him. It was Lydia that was jealous. He never would’ve expected- _no_. He stopped himself from thinking any further. Lydia was probably jealous because she wanted to talk about the twin flames. That had to be it. 

“What was that about?” Malia asked.

“Oh, uh, she wanted to study for Biology with me. I told her we could study tonight. But then-”

“Oh,” Malia replied, nodding her head. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Stiles sat at the edge of his bed when Malia exited his room. He was getting into a huge mess. He’d spent more time with Lydia in these past few weeks than his own girlfriend. Then again, Lydia was his best friend next to Scott. And now, apparently, his twin flame. He felt extremely sorry for making Lydia feel that way. There hadn’t been any other problems like that. It’d gotten to the point where she could walk into his room without prior messages and he wouldn’t be with Malia. Lydia had gotten used to it. He felt horrible the more he thought about it. But he still couldn’t figure out why she’d be jealous, no matter how many times he tried to justify it. He couldn't even decide which girl he cared about more at this point. He winced. I'm an asshole, he thought to himself.

And there was the new _thing_. He felt that Lydia was there. He felt pulled toward her. There was no suspicious sound; he didn't hear her talking or breathing or even the click of her heels walking up the hardwood stairs. He just sensed her presence. He knew that it was a part of the twin flame thing. Deaton's words echoed in his head and he decided that he probably needed to tell Deaton about this new... ability.

\--

Deaton didn't seem surprised when Stiles showed up the next day at the clinic. He came alone this time. He hadn't talked to Lydia since she caught Malia and him yesterday. Stiles didn't really want to discuss this alone considering Lydia didn't even know about it yet, but the circumstances weren't exactly the best to tell Lydia. And he had to tell Deaton.

Deaton led Stiles back to the back room. "Is this about twi-"

"Yeah," Stiles cut him off. He situated himself against a wall. The stress was really getting to him. He didn't know why Lydia was jealous and trying to figure out why was killing him. He didn't want to think about it, but something continued to bring him right back to the conclusion that-

"Well," Deaton interrupted his train of thought and _thank god_ he did, "what's happened since we last met? And where is Lydia?"

"Lydia isn't coming today. She's... mad at me."

Deaton paused. "Oh," he said, concerned, "what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I don't wanna bother you."

"You can certainly tell me. Especially if it has to do with the connection. In fact, I encourage it. It may be good to get it off of your chest. I can tell that something is bothering you."

"Well," Stiles started, "yesterday, after we left here, we both went home separately and neither of us talked about what went on here. I figured that I should give her some space, so I did. She went home and so did I. Malia was over and she and I were," Stiles paused awkwardly, "making out. Without telling me, Lydia came over to my house. When she was walking up the stairs, something in me knew that she was there. I didn't hear or see her, but I kind of sensed that she was there and I was _pulled_ toward her in a way that I can't really explain. She must have heard me and Malia because when I finally decided to get up, sure enough, she was walking back down the stairs. She played it off like it was nothing and that she was just coming to get the homework, but after she left, I felt something. It felt like jealousy. But why would _she_ be jealous?"

"Hmm." Deaton contemplated, then spoke. "First of all, the pull that you felt when you sensed her there; what was it like?"

"It wasn't exactly like physical pull, but more like something telling me that I needed to see her. Or like an overwhelming urge to walk in her direction. I couldn't control it.

"Exactly what I expected from your connection and from her."

"From her? What do you-"

"You said she felt jealous. You were absolutely right," Deaton explained with a smile. "That pull means that she is feeling something, whether she realizes it or not, for you. Romantic feelings are what simulates a pull on twin flames. I'm sure that she has felt it, too, at one time or another. Maybe you should ask her. I told you yesterday that you would eventually feel drawn to each other. This is what I meant. I didn't want to tell you with Lydia around because initially, I wasn't sure about her, but the bond between you two is destined to be more than platonic. Your half souls are meant to combine into one eventually. That's what makes your type so special."

Stiles was stunned. _Lydia Martin_ had feelings for _him?_ This was all he has ever wanted since he was a child, but now this is more serious. It was mature now. It was more than a crush. It was destiny. But this came at a very wrong time.

"But what about Malia?"

"What about her?"

"We're dating. If I'm meant to be with Lydia like you say, what happens to her?"

"Ah. Exactly what you know will happen." Stiles sighed and looked down at his feet. "You can delay this all you want, Stiles, but it won't stop."

"And what if you're wrong?" Stiles asked and looked up. It's not like he didn't want to be Lydia's twin flame, but this was _such_ bad timing. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

"Trust me," Deaton put his hand on Stiles's shoulder comfortingly, "I'm not wrong." He dropped his hand and turned in the other direction. He stopped when he reached the file cabinet and searched through it. He pulled out a blank sheet of paper, then faced Stiles. "I still don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone about this until you have it all figured out, but maybe if you write your feelings down, you'll feel better. It'll be for your eyes only, so be as honest as you feel necessary, but don't lie to yourself."

Stiles walked over and took the paper from his hand. "Thanks. For everything."

"Glad to help. Now, I think you should go talk to Lydia. Apologize or something. Don't mention the jealousy. She will tell you when the time is right."

Stiles nodded and walked out of the clinic.

\--

Lydia had arrived home and hadn’t made a sound since the moment at Stiles’s house. She was so embarrassed she couldn’t even be angry. She felt so stupid for not expecting that. And thinking about them-- “Ugh,” she finally spit out. 

The next morning, she slumped on her bed, curling up in her sheets. After spending so much time with him, it was almost like old times. She used to be able to call him at any time and he’d be at her door immediately. She couldn’t help but be happy for him. Malia and him were good together, and Stiles helped her through tough times. So she decided that it was her turn to be sorry. 

She eventually gathered the courage to walk outside. But that’s as far as she could go. How could she say sorry without sounding pathetic? Without sounding like she--

She stopped herself again. The only thing she needed to do was come up with what to say, and that was all. Nothing else. 

After thinking without success for five minutes, a car pulled into the driveway. She knew immediately that it was Stiles. 

\--

Stiles sat in his jeep. His heart drummed against his chest, and he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He couldn’t find the nerves to leave the clinic’s parking lot. It all felt like a dream, but he never imagined he would feel so empty when he realized that Lydia had romantic feelings for him. He was happy, no doubt. But he was almost suspicious of Deaton’s word. Lydia could’ve been jealous for any other reason. He needed to hear it from her before he took anything from it. _I’ve waited for so long. I can wait longer_ , he thought. 

His thoughts pushed him to pull out of the parking lot. It was getting close to first period. Stiles drove towards Lydia’s house and prepared how he was going to apologize for putting her in that situation. He was almost as nervous as he used to be around her. That was, when Lydia didn’t even know him. 

He thought about what sophomore year Stiles would say if someone told him that he’d end up becoming friends with _Lydia Martin_. He’d probably laugh. But if someone told him that Lydia would fall in love with him, he’d probably faint. And then laugh. Even though, back then, Stiles was ambitious to make Lydia fall in love with him, it was almost like he always believed they’d be in a platonic relationship. Stiles had loved her for so long, and the one thing that brought them together was the supernatural world. Here was the supernatural world again, pushing them, in more ways than one, to be involved romantically. 

Stiles pulled into her parking lot and almost regretted his decision when a pale, petite figure emerged from the shadows of the steps to her house. He took one big breath and stepped out of the car.

“Stiles? What are you doing here?” Lydia asked with a crack in her voice.

“I just came to apologize. Are you okay?” He crept closer to her up the stairs and stood two stairs away from her. He rested his foot on the stair above the one that he was leveled on.

“Why do you need to apologize?” she asked curiously, stepping closer to the top of the steps. She wrapped her arms around her body to warm herself from the cool morning air. 

“You didn’t answer my question." He looked at her with suspicion. Lydia looked at the ground.

“You didn’t answer mine,” she replied. 

Stiles tried not to look annoyed. He knew he was defeated when she leaned against the porch rail and glanced at him with raised eyebrows. 

“Look--I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for you to--”

“Stiles, it’s not your fault,” she interrupted. “I should be the one apologizing. In fact, I was sitting outside thinking of how to say sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry?”

“Because, you’re in a relationship,” she answered. His heart sped up. He wanted to stop it, but he couldn't help the feelings that came with her words. "I don't care what you do with Malia. Trust me. I was just embarrassed. That's all. I mean, it's nothing really. I’ve just been spending a lot of time with you and you're my best friend now that Allison... I don’t want to get in the way of you and Malia.”

“Lydia, we're friends. And we’re dealing with something we’ve never dealt with before. It's okay." He smiled at her reassuringly and brought his hand up to stroke her left arm comfortingly.

“Okay.” She looked at him genuinely. His look matched hers and then, there was silence. When he saw her reaction to his touch, he immediately brought his hand back to his side. Not out of disgust, but because he knew that he was feeling something that he shouldn't be feeling.

“So, uh, apology accepted?” he said. 

“Yeah, apology accepted,” Lydia responded. A fake smile crept up on her face. Not that she wasn't happy for him or anything, but something inside of Lydia did not feel right. She just didn't know what it was or why.

He heard a buzz and then felt the remaining jealousy within her smile. It drove him crazy.

Stiles ran his hand through his hair, thinking of what to say next. They never usually had trouble picking up a conversation. But they stood in silence, listening to the night air. Stiles wanted so badly to ask her why he felt jealousy from her, but Deaton’s words stopped him. _She’ll tell you when the time is right._

“Look, I’m gonna go back and try to not be late for school. And, uh, you should too, Lydia,” Stiles turned around to leave.

\--

Lydia bit her lip so hard as he walked away that a metallic taste dripped on her tongue. There were so many more things she wanted to apologize for. Things that they hadn’t ever brought up. Every day that Lydia withheld her apology, she felt more and more selfish. The only thing holding her back was the fact that telling him some things would also be considered selfish. 

She shook away the nonsense and sauntered into the house. 

\--

After he left Lydia's house, Stiles did not go school. He went straight to Scott's house.

He knew that Deaton and Lydia would be pissed at him for telling Scott about the twin flames, but he needed to tell someone. He didn't know what to do and the stress kept building on him. He was hoping that Scott might offer him some advice.

"Hey, Stiles. What's happening?" Scott asked, opening his front door. 

"I need to talk to you about something. Something important."

"Is it about the doctors?" Scott asked, letting Stiles in the house and closing the door behind him.

"No," Stiles said, "it's about me."

Scott led Stiles to his room where they could talk more privately. "So, what is it?"

"I need some kind of advice. I've only been keeping this to myself for the past day and it's already driving me crazy." Scott nodded along with what Stiles was saying. "Remember that thing I told you about the other day? About Lydia and me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, things got a lot more serious."

All of a sudden, Scott perked up in fascination. "Did something happen with you two?"

"No. I mean, I guess you can say that. I'm gonna tell you something, but you can't tell anyone."

"I won't."

"Okay. We went and saw Deaton yesterday and he told us that the thing that was happening was because Lydia and I are twin flames. Twin flames are, like, a type of soulmate, but the connection is stronger. We're basically two halves of one soul. Deaton said that twin flame relationships could stay just friends, but more than likely, there will be attraction. It got awkward after that and we left and didn't talk to each other. I figured she needed time to process it all and so I went home and Malia was over. Lydia came to my house unannounced and she heard Malia and I... you know... but something weird happened." Stiles paused and thought for a minute. "It's like I knew she was there. I couldn't see or hear her and there would have been absolutely no physical way that I could have known, but I did. I felt _pulled_ toward her. Like, an uncontrollable urge to head in her direction. So I did. And she was there. She got all awkward and said that she was coming over to get something for her homework and then she left. But I felt something after she left. It was jealousy." Scott gaped. Stiles rolled his eyes. "So I went to Deaton again because of the new... power. He said that Lydia was definitely jealous and that the pull means that she feels romantically attracted to me. Now I don't know what to do or even if he is right."

"Dude, he's definitely right. Deaton's always right. And anyone with eyes can see how different Lydia acts toward you now."

"That's because I'm her best friend."

"Yes, and it's because she's into you."

Stiles laughed a little. "Shut up." He thought about Scott's words seriously, though. It had really sunk in. Lydia had feelings for _him._

"Seriously, though, what are you planning to do?"

"I'm with Malia."

"Stiles, this is all you've ever wanted and now you have it. You're seriously not going to do anything?"

"That's another thing," Stiles said, "Deaton said that there was no stopping this for happening and that it's destiny or something."

"That's deep," Scott said, half-jokingly.

"No, it's a problem. 'Cause now I know I'm gonna hurt Malia somehow. Just because she isn't my _twin flame_ doesn't mean that I don't care about her."

"I know you do. But I agree with Deaton. It seems like there is no stopping this. It was bound to happen some day."

Stiles sighed. "I know. But I'm gonna stay with Malia."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to hurt her."

"Well, it's just gonna hurt her more if she learns about this."

"I'm already in too deep, Scott. I can't just leave her without a reason."

"There is a reason."

"A badly timed reason," Stiles agreed, "but I still care about Malia."

"I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that this is a bad decision. But it's your choice now."

"I hate this," Stiles said in defeat.

"I know."

Stiles considered both options. He knew that it was right to end things with Malia, but that wouldn't be fair to her. Lydia, though, was his twin flame. That wasn’t even the only reason he wanted to be with her. She was smart and she challenged him, but in a good way. In some way, they completed each other. He knew that their souls fit together like puzzle pieces and it was evident in the way they act toward each other. Whatever Stiles lacked, Lydia made up for and vice versa. They figured everything out and _that_ was why. Because with her, he had everything: every trait, every answer, every outcome. 

But the timing just wasn't _right_. Their day would come, but today was not their day. If they were meant to be together, then they would. Stiles figured that they could afford to wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblrs:  
> Brittany- martinxki  
> Abbie- stydiasgriffin
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and kudos if you liked it. As always, we appreciate it! 
> 
> So yeah, twin flames are actually a real thing, by the way! We made up some of the "abilities", but twin flames are legit.


	4. you are in love.

“Lydia? Hello? Are you okay?” he asked. 

Lydia turned back towards her locker and realized her initial intention. She needed to grab a few notebooks for school that day. So she did, and she tilted her head towards Scott as her face reddened. 

“Oh--uh, yeah I just, uh, accidentally had decaf this morning.” She slammed her locker shut and walked down the crowded hallway. 

Scott followed beside her, and Lydia was well aware that Scott didn’t believe her. 

“Lydia,” he stopped her and pulled her towards the wall. “What’s going on? You’ve been totally out of it lately.”

Scott’s words made her realize something. A lot of things, actually. Lydia was overly stressed and full of emotions from the last few weeks. All of it piled onto her like a stack of books, each thing, big or little, weighing her down. That day she felt all of it at once. And Scott was the first to notice. 

Lydia huffed and crossed her arms. Tears threatened to escape her eyes, and a knot lodged in her throat as she tried to hold them back. She looked down, embarrassed. Scott placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, urging her to speak her feelings. She opened her mouth and closed it. When she noticed that the hallway lessened in people, she knew it was time to tell Scott. Because the hallway represented the time she had. And the people resembled the courage she had. 

“Scott, there’s something you should know,” she began. “I, uh, walked in on Stiles and Malia, doing, well, being in a relationship, and no matter how many times I try to prove myself wrong, I think that I was jealous. I think that I _am_ jealous. I don’t know when it began, but I realized that I have to come to terms with my feelings.”

Scott hesitated for a moment, struggling to find something to say. He always recognized Lydia’s feelings for Stiles, but he knew that Lydia was either in denial or she truly wasn’t aware. He’d never been in the same situation. When he met Allison, he knew he was in love. Lydia, on the other hand, was afraid. Scott knew she was scared to jump into a relationship that was as toxic as all her other relationships.

“Lydia, you know that Stiles has loved you for a really long time. I mean,” he laughed, “I remember the times when he talked about you non-stop when we were little. I figured, you know, that it was a silly crush that would fade away. But it never did. He always got so flustered around you and I honestly can’t believe it took him so long to actually introduce himself. I saw him ever since third grade fall more and more in love with you,” he paused, and Lydia tried not to cry. “I don’t think that’s something that could go away so easily.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I think so. I think that it’s time you tell him. The fact that you’re twin flames is probably your queue.”

“I just-- I don’t want to hurt-- _wait_ \-- twin flames? How did you know about that? I thought you just knew about our connection...” Lydia asked. 

“Oh, uh, Stiles mentioned it to me--”

“Oh my God. _Stiles_?” She placed her hands on her head. “I have to go speak to him,” she spat. 

Scott tried to stop her, but she stomped out of the school to call him. She would’ve gone straight to his house, but she did _not_ want to encounter another thing between him and Malia. So she decided to put telepathy to good use. 

_"Stiles,"_ she spoke in her mind.

 _"Lydia?"_ he answered instantly.

 _“Where are you?”_ she asked, a little too angrily. 

_“I’m pulling into the school,”_ he replied suspiciously. 

_“We need to talk in person. Now. I’m outside the school entrance."_

_"But I'm already late for-"_

_"I said now, Stiles."_

_“Okay, okay. I’m coming now."_

\--

Stiles spent that morning in a surprisingly bad state. His head ached and he didn’t want to speak to anyone. The buzzing in his head indicated that it was Lydia’s grumpiness that caused it. Although, according to her feelings, she was either having a bad hangover or she hadn’t gotten enough sleep. 

When Lydia told him they needed to talk, she did not sound happy. He tried to think of the things he’d done between yesterday and today that would make her angry, and his heart sped up. _Is she still mad at me_? He thought to himself. He couldn’t grasp a single reason why she’d be mad at him, unless it was because she really _was_ still mad at him. Her apology seemed so real and sincere that he couldn’t see why she would lie. _Shit,_ he thought. _Is it about Deaton? Or ignoring her texts? Or stealing a cookie?_ His mind raced at every thought. He stepped out of his car and headed towards the front of the school. He tried to convince himself that it would be for something stupid. But then, he saw her face. 

She was alone with no one in sight. Everyone was already in class, which was a good thing. He could feel an argument brewing. He felt her anger, and admittedly, he was scared. 

“Oh god--” he muttered. He reached her at the front of the school. Her arms were crossed and her face was flushed in anger. Her jaw clenched at the sight of him and he gulped. 

“Stiles, you told Scott about the twin flames right after Deaton told us not to?” She said without saying hello and Stiles jumped at the realization. Honestly, he thought it was a little dramatic. 

“Lydia, he’s my best friend.”

“I understand that, but this is something we should’ve kept to ourselves. At least until--”

“Lydia, I’m not arguing with you about this. If I _didn’t_ tell Scott, it would be way worse than this. You’re being pretty dramatic, don’t you think?”

Lydia opened her mouth and gaped at him. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. 

“You can’t just--” 

She turned to face the opposite of his face. She could _not_ look at it. Not without--

“I can’t what?” Stiles interrupted. “ _Huh_? Like _you’re_ the boss of me?” he laughed. “I know you’re jealous of Malia. Unfortunately for you, our _connection_ doesn’t hide jealousy.”

"What? I am not _jealous_." She whipped her head around. She did all she could to sweep out any jealous feelings she had. Any sign, any feeling, anything. She couldn’t let him win. She couldn’t let him be right. 

Stiles gave her an exaggerated look of frustration. "I can literally feel your feelings."

“Whatever,” she shouted, “I might have been a little jealous, but all you’re doing is faking your feelings for Malia. You’re only making it harder the longer you stay with her,” she admitted.

“What the _hell_ are you talking about?”

“You know, I don’t feel any love coming from you when you’re around Malia. Nothing. When you’re around me--”

“That’s bullshit,” he stepped closer to her. “You have no right to come to me and tell me that I don’t love Malia. I’m in love with her. And you _especially_ have no right to say I only love you.”

Lydia looked hurt. They stood outside the school, and Lydia was sure that the school day started. But she was furious at this point. Furious for saying those words. Furious for just now realizing. Furious that he took it harder than she expected. In that moment, though, she was on the verge of tears and it took every ounce of courage to speak normally. 

“Stiles, you lust for Malia. I know that when you’re around me there’s _love_ and I just don’t think--”

“Oh, just grow up, Lydia,” he said loudly. “You know how I felt when we became friends. All the feelings I had for you and you never felt a damn thing. So I moved on. I grew up. And now that I did, _you_ decide that you can't stand to not be the center of attention.” Stiles regretted his words immediately after he saw Lydia’s face. His face softened from anger to the hurt that she was feeling. Tears escaped his eyes and he wiped his face.

It was like a slap to the face. In some ways, Lydia agreed with him. But he couldn’t know that. She may not have felt anything romantic for him for the first year that they knew each other, but thinking about it made her see that maybe she did last year. Maybe she fell in love with him, pieces by pieces and it was subtle enough to never realize. And by the time that she finally figured it out, he had fallen for another girl. Or maybe, she was selfish and only felt something for him because she couldn’t have him. 

Lydia cried, too. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” Stiles said. “It was just on impulse.”

“I can _feel_ what you’re feeling, Stiles," Lydia said in a voice just louder than a whisper. "You can't lie realistically about something when I can feel the truth."

"Lydia-"

"No, let me finish," she interrupted quietly. "You know, even as we're fighting, I can feel what you feel for me."

"No," Stiles said sadly, "you can't say that."

"And you should know," Lydia said, ignoring his words. She paused for a moment, then spoke. Another tear escaped her eye and she held herself back from wiping it away. "You should know, Stiles, how I'm feeling when I'm around you. You feel it."

Stiles could feel it. He felt it then and he'd felt it before. He knew that Deaton was right, but it was different when _she_ verbalized it. But it wasn’t that easy.

"It's been nine years, Lydia. Almost a decade of me pining over you. You had all the time in the world, yet you picked the worst time. You can't just tell me this after all that time. It doesn't work like that. It _can't_ work like that."

"You're just making it harder for both of you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"We both know what this is. What we are. You can keep waiting but that doesn't change any-"

"Just stop. Please. I can't do this right now. I can't," he said as he wiped a tear from his cheek. "We can talk about this later, but I can't do this. I'm sorry."

With that, he walked away, leaving Lydia with tears stained on her face.

\--

Lydia couldn't stand to stay the rest of the day at school. She didn't want to face Stiles today. She was embarrassed. She must have seemed so _pathetic_. Practically begging him to break up with his girlfriend for the sake of what? Being with Lydia instead? She couldn’t stand to see herself like that. She'd done it all too often: letting a boy weaken her. She remembered all of times she's cried over Jackson, and she hated it.

She got in her car and drove home.

Whatever. If Stiles wanted to stay with Malia, then fine. Lydia decided not to let it bother her. She'd just go back to denying the feelings and pushing them away. She’d rebuild the walls that kept her feelings from touching him.

It was kind of impossible, though, considering what they'd experienced in the last two weeks. He knew what she was feeling and he could feel it. There was no hiding it.

Lydia considered the possibility that the feelings that she experienced could be all Stiles's feelings that he transmitted to her. It was possible. She knew that Stiles loved her. He always has. Then again, she didn't hear any buzzing. They must’ve been her own. _Fuck._

" _Lydia_ ," she heard his voice call to her suddenly. " _I need to talk to you again. I know you can hear me. Please answer. Please._ "

His voice sounded desperate and broken, even through telepathy. She toughed it out and decided against talking to him. She heard the buzz. It was ear-piercingly loud. She winced, but then felt a wave of regret wash over her.

"I was wrong," he said, "and I'm sorry."

Lydia wasn't about to discuss this through telepathy, though her heart sped up. No, she thought to herself, _you are not going through this again. Suppress it. You've done it before and you can do it again. Do not force him away from his girlfriend for your own selfish desires._

But she still thought about him.

As the buzz grew louder, she thought about him. 

As she pulled up in her driveway, she thought about him.

As she got out of her car, she thought about him. 

As she fumbled with her keys only to see that the door was opened, she thought about him. 

As her suspicion about the open door grew, she thought about him.

As she heard a sound from her kitchen when she closed the door behind her, she thought about him.

And when everything turned black, she thought about him.

\--

Lydia sat up from an uncomfortable position. Once her head cleared and she wasn’t as dizzy, she could barely make out the shadows of a room with random boxes scattered throughout, and the room was almost pitch black. She grunted from pain as he head throbbed from where it was it. Her heart sped up to an unusual speed when she realized what had happened. She sat back against a cold cement wall and curled up against herself. She attempted to speak, but her throat was dry and raspy and she couldn’t find her voice. It was almost like a nightmare. To test it, she pinched her arm, but she remained in the same spot. A knot formed in her throat and she began to cry. 

Someone had taken her. 

\--

The rest of school that day was full of headaches and random anxiety. Stiles fidgeted and stumbled, struggling to look as if he wasn’t high or in the middle of a hangover. Which, he wasn’t. But the argument with Lydia was pretty equivalent. 

He tried multiple times to apologize to Lydia. He pleaded for her response, or _something_ that indicated that she’d heard him. Even if she didn’t forgive him, he needed confirmation that she was at least listening. She never responded, and that’s when Stiles started to worry. A lot. 

By the end of the school day, Stiles headed over to Scott’s house in hopes that he’d seen Lydia at all. He hastily walked through the door and found Scott. 

“Having you seen or talked to Lydia at all today?” Stiles asked.

“No, I haven’t,” he said before he sat down on his bed. “Why?”

“Well, we got into another fight. But this time it was about--well, us. Like our--I don’t know--relationship. And I said some pretty regrettable things.”

“And what happened after you fought?”

“I went to school and--she went home. I tried texting and calling her, but that didn’t work. So I spoke to her telepathically. And she ignored me.”

“What were the cruel things that you said?”

“I told her to...grow up,” he paused. “And that she always needed to be in the center of attention. And that she had no right to tell me how she feels when I’m with Malia. She argued that she could feel the love I felt only around her and not around Malia. I told her that she had no right to say that. And then we got emotional.” Scott opened his mouth to speak, but Stiles continued, “I also said that I ‘grew up’ and got over her…”

“Oh,” Scott muttered. “Stiles, you need to just give her some time. Let her think things through.”

“Yeah. You’re right.”

“Look, you need to catch up on schoolwork, right?” Scott asked. 

“Yeah…”

“That’s a good way to distract you. And if that doesn’t work, just call me, and I’ll figure something out.”

“Thanks, man,” Stiles smiled. 

“And by the way, give yourself some time to think... about you and Lydia.”

Stiles nodded before he stood up and walked out of Scott’s room. 

\--

Stiles attempted to do his History homework that night. He was distracted by the thought of Lydia being alone. Even the thought of her being mad at him made him go insane. And he had a massive headache that came, seemingly, out of nowhere.

“Malia, can you pass me a piece of gum. It’s sitting on the nightstand.”

“Yeah, sure.” She turned to grab the gum and threw it towards him. “Are you alright? You’ve been doing the same homework for two hours, and there’s anxiety all over you. What’s up?”

Stiles was facing the window at his desk, and he froze when Malia confronted him. Why would he think that he wasn’t being obvious? He turned to see Malia staring at him in suspicion. 

“Yeah, this is really hard homework. I wasn’t really paying attention in class, so…” He stopped when Malia walked towards his desk and snatched the paper. 

“You’ve written two words…” she said. “Your _name_.”

“Like I said, it’s really har-”

“ _Stiles_ ,” she crossed her arms. “Seriously, what is it?”

He sighed and stood up to cross the room to his bed. He sat down, and Malia plopped beside him. 

“Lydia and I had an argument,” he began. “A friendship argument. You know, she’s my friend.” He emphasized the word friend and tried to slow his heart beat since Malia could detect whether he was lying or not. “And she hasn’t responded to any of my texts or calls. And I don’t know, it worries me.”

Malia looked at him sadly and she spoke, “why are you lying to me?” 

Stiles was about to deny it when his phone interrupted. It rang a few times before he reached it on the desk. He looked at the screen and was surprised to see that Ms. Martin was calling him. 

“Hello?” He answered. 

“Stiles, is Lydia with you? She isn’t home and-- I’ve been trying to get a hold of her all day.”

Stiles’s eyes widened and he looked worriedly at Malia. 

“No, Ms. Martin. She isn’t with me. I haven’t seen her at all.”

"What's happening?" Malia asked.

Stiles held up his pointer finger, signaling for her to wait.

"Okay. I thought she might be sleeping over with you and Scott again. If you hear from her please tell me." Ms. Martin replied. 

"I will," he said, then hung up the phone.

"What is it?"

"Lydia is missing. Call Scott."

\--

Lydia sobbed for a few minutes until she gathered the courage to stop. She was terrified, but she wanted to feel brave. Slowly, she breathed regularly and her face was sticky from the tears. Her breath trembled every time she released, and she dug at her skin to balance out the pain. A few more tears fell down her already wet face, and she quickly swiped at them as soon as they dropped from her eyes. She wanted to keep crying. She wanted to cry until she couldn’t cry anymore. She desperately wanted to. Letting her last tear slip from her now red eyes, she took her face in her hands and steadied her breathing once more. It was more satisfying than it was to cry. 

It was like when she was little and she got in trouble, her mom would demand her to stop crying. She would use all the force and might she had to take deep breaths so her mom couldn’t hear her whimpering. Because if Lydia was caught crying, her dolls would be taken away for that day and she would never allow that. 

So she pretended that those dolls were keeping her from breaking down again. Every breath, she thought of the dolls. She thought of her mother. She thought of Scott, Malia, Kira, Liam, Mason. She thought of Allison. She thought of Stiles. The pack.

She grew determined to get out of there. Wherever it was. 

She crawled towards one of the boxes, only to remember that she was chained to a pole in the ground. She growled in anger and attempted, multiple times, to rip herself out of the chains, and it was agonizing. But she kept trying, and eventually her hands were covered in blood and blisters, and it took only a few more tries before she couldn’t bare the pain anymore. She slumped to the ground, sore to the bones. 

She didn’t know what the hell she was supposed to do. 

\--

They couldn't reach Scott, so Stiles and Malia had decided to try to find Lydia on their own. It was better than nothing, they figured.

Stiles, however, had been sent into a panic. He was shaking. He couldn't seem to speak properly. His driving was absolutely recklessly. Pain spread throughout his entire body. His arms ached of excruciating pain and his head hurt tremendously. 

"Stiles, _slow down_. The speed limit here is thirty and you're going fifty."

"I can't. I have to find her," he said with a tone of anger.

He felt cold all over. Despite the chilliness, sweat dripped down his forehead and spine. Stiles continued forward in the car, not knowing exactly where he headed. Malia shouted multiple times, but all Stiles could think about was Lydia in pain.

Suddenly, he made a sharp turn. Malia gasped.

"Seriously, stop right now. I'm leaving."

" _Malia_ , I need your help to find Lydia."

"I texted Scott. He and Liam will be here soon to help. But I can't, Stiles. I can't."

Stiles slowed down, finally, concerned. He pulled off to the side of the road and parked. When he looked over at Malia, she looked distressed. He figured he put too much pressure on her to try and help.

"I'm sorry," he said looking straight ahead at the dashboard. "I didn't know that-"

"It's her, isn't it?" She whispered, looking down at her hands. 

"What the hell are you-" Stiles glanced over at her. 

"It's not me. It's her."

Stiles had a feeling that he knew what she was talking about. He knew where this was going and it was what he had dreaded all along. He looked at her. "Malia," he started, but he couldn't finish. He knew she was right.

She looked back at him. "You love her, don't you? But not me."

"It's not true, Malia. I _do_ love yo-"

"But you love her. I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. Don't argue with me. Please, just find Lydia. Scott and Liam will be here soon. We're done." Malia looked sad, but strong. She was able to hold in her tears, but he knew that she _always_ held them back. She opened the door to the Jeep. She walked away and didn't look back.

Stiles punched the steering wheel with all his might. He let out a grunt as he did. Tears ran down his cheeks, but a spark of determination set off inside of him. He was going to find Lydia. He _needed_ to find Lydia. 

As he waited for Scott, an idea formed in his mind. 

" _Lydia,_ " he said through their connection. " _Lydia. Lydia!_ " He called to her, but there was no response. He tried to stay calm, but everything was happening at once and he felt like he was breaking in two.

All of a sudden, Stiles felt something hit his head hard. He almost blacked out. But nothing was there. Nothing hit him. He heard a buzz, then screamed. " _Lydia!_ "

\--

Lydia's head ached like hell. Her eyes searched around the room for _anything_. It was dark and she could barely see. She needed to get herself out somehow. 

Lydia shivered in the same position. Chills covered her skin, and the hair on her arms stuck up. She finally was able to croak out a few words

“Who’s there?” She called out. “Where am I?”

No one responded. She was left with the eerie silence of the room, surrounded by boxes and musty air. She whimpered a few times, distraught and dehydrated. She had no idea where she was. All she could tell was that it looked similar to the storage unit her mom once had when they moved. She was frightened and confused. Tired. 

Then she remembered her argument with Stiles. She remembered the sadness in his eyes when they fought, but she was never sure if that was because _he_ was sad, or if _she_ was sad. Frustrated, she dug her nails into her palms until blood dripped down her hands. Thinking about Stiles made her anxious, and sad, and compassionate. Thinking about him made her crazy. 

Everywhere hurt. She hurt so much and for whatever reason, all she could think about was Stiles.

 _Stiles_. The voice in her head called out to her. _Stiles, Stiles_. She thought for a minute that she was hallucinating. She heard his name form into a different word.

" _Lydia!_ " it called in a familiar voice. Stiles. It was Stiles. It was telepathy.

Suddenly, though, she heard footsteps. They came closer and closer until everything turned black again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, as always! Abbie and I really appreciate the positive feedback that we're getting.
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos if you liked this chapter! Thank you!
> 
> -Brittany
> 
> Tumblrs:  
> Brittany- martinxki  
> Abbie- stydiasgriffin


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